Cheesy Snacks

I've been veering into a dark place lately with all the talk of child molestation and drunk jews. Let's turn to something upbeat: cheesy snacks.

(5) Sun Chips Harvest Cheddar. These multigrain snacks are made from a special blend of whole wheat, corn, and other natural grains, then cooked until light and crispy. I purchase these when I get a meal deal at Subway. I prefer the Original flavor because I want to preserve the purity of the whole grain goodness, but when the blue package isn't an option I pick the orange and they're pretty darn good.

(4) Ritz Bitz Cracker Sandwiches Cheese. Smaller than your average Ritz, these tiny treats retain the flaky buttery Ritz texture we know and love while also cradling a powdery cheese filling. I remain unsure if the powdery filling has a texture of its own or if it just dissolves into one's mouth upon contact. I purchase these from my office vending machine when (3) or (1) are unavailable.

(3) Snyder's of Hanover Cheddar Cheese Pretzel Sandwiches. Snyder's instructs us to "Imagine real, tangy cheddar cheese sandwiched between two bite-size Pretzel Snaps." I say imagine the real, tangy cheddar is the same powdery texture as the Ritz Bitz but the taste is more like dark neon cheddar instead of light buttery cheddar. And instead of a pastry vibe from the Ritz Bitz you have the pretzel vibe of a Pretzel Snap. I purchase these from my office vending machine.

(2) Snyder's of Hanover Cheddar Cheese Pretzel Pieces. Snyder's says "Generous chunks of our Sourdough Hard Pretzels bursting with intense flavor combinations... like the authentic taste of our Cheddar Cheese Pretzel Pieces." Ignore the tautological rhetoric contained in Snyder's assertion that Cheddar Cheese Pretzel Pieces taste like Cheddar Cheese Pretzel Pieces. Focus instead on the bursting and the intense flavor. I eat these when I purchase them from Safeway or my corner market.*

(1) Munchies Cheese Fix. Wow I love these. The good people at Frito-Lay combined the cheese versions of four bestselling snacks: the Dorito; the Cheeto; the Rold Gold Pretzel; and the Sun Chip. Because why pick just one cheesy snack when you could have four, right? This is AMERICA for chrissakes. I purchase these pretty much all over.

*The only product rated herein that is not sold in an individual serving size.