Thursday, July 12, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Brushing Your Cat's Teeth
(1) Have your cat get used to you putting things in her mouth. Dip your finger in tuna water, chicken broth, or other liquid your cat may like. Call your cat with a voice that means "treat" and let your cat lick the liquid off your finger. Then rub your soaked finger gently over your cat's gums and teeth. After a few sessions, your cat should actually look forward to this and you can move on.
(2) Place gauze around your finger. (You can again dip it in the tuna water or other liquid.) Gently rub the teeth in a circular motion with your gauzed finger. Repeat this for the number of sessions it takes your cat to feel comfortable with this procedure. Remember to praise her and keep an upbeat attitude.
(3) After your cat is used to having the flavored gauze in her mouth, you are ready to start with a toothbrush, dental sponge, or pad. We need to get your cat used to the consistency of these items, especially the bristles on a brush. So, let your cat lick something tasty off of the brush or pad so she gets used to the texture.
(4) Once your cat is used to the cleaning item you are going to use, we can add the toothpaste (or rinse). Pet toothpastes either have a poultry, malt, or other flavor so your cat will like the taste. Get your cat used to the flavor and consistency of the toothpaste. Let your cat lick some off your finger and then apply some to your cat's gumline with your finger. Praise your pet.
(5) Now your cat is used to the toothbrush and toothpaste and you are ready to start brushing. Talk to your cat in a happy voice during the process and praise your cat at the end. At first, you may just want to brush one or both upper canine teeth (the large ones in the front of the mouth). These are the easiest teeth for you to get at and will give you some easier practice. As before, when your cat accepts having several teeth brushed, slowly increase the number of teeth you are brushing. Again, by making it appear to be a game, you both will have fun doing it.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
The Darge
Have you all heard of Henry Darger?
He was a janitor and social recluse who lived in Chicago. Right before he died in 1973 his landlords discovered a 15,145-page fantasy manuscript called The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion along with several hundred drawings and watercolor paintings illustrating the story.
He was a janitor and social recluse who lived in Chicago. Right before he died in 1973 his landlords discovered a 15,145-page fantasy manuscript called The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion along with several hundred drawings and watercolor paintings illustrating the story.
I don't know how I learned about him but at some point a few years ago I Netflixed the documentary In the Realms of the Unreal (2004) and it was pretty cool. It was a bunch of his pictures and drawings set to somebody reading parts of his journal and autobiography. I can't provide all the interesting details of his art because it'd take too long, but here are a few:
War. Seven sisters are princesses of the Christian nation of Abbiennia and assist a daring rebellion against an evil regime of child slavery imposed by men that looks like Confederate soldiers.
Mythology. Children defend themselves and are often slain in battle or viciously tortured by overlords. The elaborate mythology includes a species of winged beings with curved horns who occasionally take human or part-human form. [FN1]
Based on a real (dead) girl. The war was sparked by Darger's loss of a newspaper photograph of Elsie Paroubek, a five-year-old girl strangled in 1911 whose murderer was never found. According to his autobiography, Darger believed the photo was among several items that were stolen when his apartment was broken into.
Based on a real (dead) girl he may have murdered. His work portrays horrific brutality against children. It is sometimes assumed that Darger wrote and drew this way because he was enacting repressed subconscious desires. His biographer speculated that he may have strangled Elsie Paroubek.
Murderer or no, he liked 'em young. He made humans by tracing, collage, or photo enlargement from popular magazines and children's books. He collected a lot of trash and used it for material. Some of his favorite magazine/newspaper clippings here the Coopertone Girl and Little Annie Rooney.
He also liked 'em transgendered. Characters are often portrayed unclothed or partially clothed, and regardless of ostensible gender, some females have penises. Some think he was unfamiliar with female anatomy, that he meant it as a symbol of power, or that he modeled the girls after images of the infant Jesus.
[FN1: Holla at my minotaurs!]
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
America the Beautiful
Top Ten American Things I Thought About This Week:
(10) Nancy Grace is knocked up. CNN Anchorwoman Nancy Grace, 48, is four months pregnant - with twins! She thought it wasn't meant to be, but as part of God's plan she was given (by God of course, not modern science) this wonderful blessing late in life and could not be happier.
(9) Scooter Libby stretches friendships to the max. For obstructing justice in the leak of a CIA employee's identity, Libby was sentenced to 2.5 years in prison along with 2 years probation and a $250,000 fine. While upholding the probation and fine, Bush commuted the prison sentence. What's that old adage? "Cronies: If you got 'em, flaunt 'em" or maybe "The Rule of Law: Fuck it."
(8) Oil gets all up in the business of Kansas and Oklahoma. An estimated 42,000 gallons of thick crude oil spilled from a Kansas refinery and floated with mud and debris down the Verdigris River, coating everything it touched with a slimy, smelly layer of goo. Oklahoma residents fled as a river carried an oil slick toward a large reservoir that supplies water to several cities. This reminds me: White Noise by Don DeLillo is a great book. I recommend it.
(7) Race n' Schools. Parents challenged a school district policy assigning students to schools based partly on race so that the makeup of each school roughly mirrors that of the district. The Supreme Court held that public school systems cannot seek to achieve or maintain integration through measures that take explicit account of a student’s race. Writing for the majority (5-4), Roberts said "The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race," concluding with "The way to stop a problem is to stop acknowledging the problem."
(6) Goobers (Belated)! When Magda and I returned from studying abroad in 1999, we were all pouty and sorry for ourselves for being in America. We went to a movie for some escapism. A "Century Theatres: Enjoy the Ride!!!!" thing came on and it was like a 3D rollercoaster of film reels on which we, the audience, zoomed through a dazzling array of flying popcorn meteors and flying boxes of Goobers and Red Vines that barely missed us. We laughed/cried so hard that day.
(5) Benoit is too ridiculous to even joke about. The WWF wrestler was taking a ton of anabolic steroids as well as testosterone. He apparently killed his wife and 7-year old mentally handicapped son by strangling them both (the son in a chokehold) then hanging himself by the cord of a weight machine in his basement.
(4) The peacock Lestat. A peacock wandered into a Staten Island Burger King. While charmed employees fed him bread, a man appeared. He seized the bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground, and kicked it while yelling "I'm killing a vampire!"
(3) The vampire Coulter. Several months ago, Ann Coulter called John Edwards a faggot. Recently she jokingly wished had been killed in a terrorist assasination plot. When Ann was talking with Chris Matthews recently, Elizabeth Edwards called in to ask her to stop the personal attacks and focus on issues. Ann's response is to flip her hair a lot, adopt a defensive tone, say John Edwards gives sheister psychic Las Vegas routines in front of illiterate juries to bankrupt doctors, criticize him for charging $50k for speeches, and whine at Chris Matthews when she can't remember what she wrote about Hillary Clinton's chubby legs.
(2) Dole is bananas. I bought a bunch of bananas. Almost every banana had a sticker that said either "Grill Me!" (in a crazy spray paint looking font) or "Reese's Peanut Butter Topping!" (with a picture of said topping).
(1) Visa Time! At one point during Sunday's Giants game, an advertisement came on the big screen saying "Visa Time!! Waive around your Visa!" Everybody started digging in bags, pulling out Visas, and waiving them around like giddy retards. The big screen would zoom in on people happily waiving around their American luxury/debt.
(10) Nancy Grace is knocked up. CNN Anchorwoman Nancy Grace, 48, is four months pregnant - with twins! She thought it wasn't meant to be, but as part of God's plan she was given (by God of course, not modern science) this wonderful blessing late in life and could not be happier.
(9) Scooter Libby stretches friendships to the max. For obstructing justice in the leak of a CIA employee's identity, Libby was sentenced to 2.5 years in prison along with 2 years probation and a $250,000 fine. While upholding the probation and fine, Bush commuted the prison sentence. What's that old adage? "Cronies: If you got 'em, flaunt 'em" or maybe "The Rule of Law: Fuck it."
(8) Oil gets all up in the business of Kansas and Oklahoma. An estimated 42,000 gallons of thick crude oil spilled from a Kansas refinery and floated with mud and debris down the Verdigris River, coating everything it touched with a slimy, smelly layer of goo. Oklahoma residents fled as a river carried an oil slick toward a large reservoir that supplies water to several cities. This reminds me: White Noise by Don DeLillo is a great book. I recommend it.
(7) Race n' Schools. Parents challenged a school district policy assigning students to schools based partly on race so that the makeup of each school roughly mirrors that of the district. The Supreme Court held that public school systems cannot seek to achieve or maintain integration through measures that take explicit account of a student’s race. Writing for the majority (5-4), Roberts said "The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race," concluding with "The way to stop a problem is to stop acknowledging the problem."
(6) Goobers (Belated)! When Magda and I returned from studying abroad in 1999, we were all pouty and sorry for ourselves for being in America. We went to a movie for some escapism. A "Century Theatres: Enjoy the Ride!!!!" thing came on and it was like a 3D rollercoaster of film reels on which we, the audience, zoomed through a dazzling array of flying popcorn meteors and flying boxes of Goobers and Red Vines that barely missed us. We laughed/cried so hard that day.
(5) Benoit is too ridiculous to even joke about. The WWF wrestler was taking a ton of anabolic steroids as well as testosterone. He apparently killed his wife and 7-year old mentally handicapped son by strangling them both (the son in a chokehold) then hanging himself by the cord of a weight machine in his basement.
(4) The peacock Lestat. A peacock wandered into a Staten Island Burger King. While charmed employees fed him bread, a man appeared. He seized the bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground, and kicked it while yelling "I'm killing a vampire!"
(3) The vampire Coulter. Several months ago, Ann Coulter called John Edwards a faggot. Recently she jokingly wished had been killed in a terrorist assasination plot. When Ann was talking with Chris Matthews recently, Elizabeth Edwards called in to ask her to stop the personal attacks and focus on issues. Ann's response is to flip her hair a lot, adopt a defensive tone, say John Edwards gives sheister psychic Las Vegas routines in front of illiterate juries to bankrupt doctors, criticize him for charging $50k for speeches, and whine at Chris Matthews when she can't remember what she wrote about Hillary Clinton's chubby legs.
(2) Dole is bananas. I bought a bunch of bananas. Almost every banana had a sticker that said either "Grill Me!" (in a crazy spray paint looking font) or "Reese's Peanut Butter Topping!" (with a picture of said topping).
(1) Visa Time! At one point during Sunday's Giants game, an advertisement came on the big screen saying "Visa Time!! Waive around your Visa!" Everybody started digging in bags, pulling out Visas, and waiving them around like giddy retards. The big screen would zoom in on people happily waiving around their American luxury/debt.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
Mom's Corner
bonjour;
were here and qre hqving q good time: the keyboqrd is different; so pleqse xcuse spelling:
we hqve been to notre dam; le louvre; walked miles and miles; boqting the seine tonight qnd wqtching firezorks from the eiffel tower too;
we qre stqying tzo blocks from the eiffel tozer:::it is bequtiful:
je tqime;
mom qnd dqd
were here and qre hqving q good time: the keyboqrd is different; so pleqse xcuse spelling:
we hqve been to notre dam; le louvre; walked miles and miles; boqting the seine tonight qnd wqtching firezorks from the eiffel tower too;
we qre stqying tzo blocks from the eiffel tozer:::it is bequtiful:
je tqime;
mom qnd dqd
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Stoners
I learned recently that women who use their birth names after marriage are sometimes called "Lucy Stoners." The phrase originated with Lucy Stone, the first recorded American woman to keep her name upon marriage. She's got a cool story...
Born in 1818, she watched her father rule the family by "divine right." She was determined to learn Hebrew and Latin so that she could correct the mistranslation she was confident lay behind such words. Later on, she would challenge churches with restrictions on women voting, speaking, etc.
Disturbed when her mother had to beg her father for money, she wanted an education. Although she learned faster than her brother, he was educated and she was not. To pay for college, she had to work 9 years earning low female wages teaching and housecleaning. To attend college, she had one choice - Oberlin was the only school that admitted women. She was the first woman to graduate college in Massachusetts.
In college men had to hold debates as part of the curriculum, and women had to attend to provide the audience. She was asked to write a commencement speech but declined because somebody else would have to read it (women were not allowed to give a public address). Shortly after graduation she gave her first of many public speeches. She became a frequent speaker and writer on women's suffage, women's rights, and the abolition of slavery.
Free in her thinking, she thought she'd stay free and single in life as well. She met a dude named Henry Blackwell, however, who was also anti-slavery and pro-women's rights and whose sister became the first female physician in the US. Their marriage ceremony renounced the marriage laws at the time and announced she would keep her name and keep her property in her name.
Shortly thereafter, she refuxed to pay property taxes. She protested the "taxation without representation" endured by women because they could not vote.
She and Henry actively supported the 14th Amendment giving the vote to black men. She supported this despite the fact that it would be the first time the Constitution mentioned "male citizens" specifically. Other women suffragists (including Susan B. Anthony of $1 coin fame) split with her on this matter and opposed the 14th Amendment.
She was progressive even in death: She was the first person in New England to be cremated.
Born in 1818, she watched her father rule the family by "divine right." She was determined to learn Hebrew and Latin so that she could correct the mistranslation she was confident lay behind such words. Later on, she would challenge churches with restrictions on women voting, speaking, etc.
Disturbed when her mother had to beg her father for money, she wanted an education. Although she learned faster than her brother, he was educated and she was not. To pay for college, she had to work 9 years earning low female wages teaching and housecleaning. To attend college, she had one choice - Oberlin was the only school that admitted women. She was the first woman to graduate college in Massachusetts.
In college men had to hold debates as part of the curriculum, and women had to attend to provide the audience. She was asked to write a commencement speech but declined because somebody else would have to read it (women were not allowed to give a public address). Shortly after graduation she gave her first of many public speeches. She became a frequent speaker and writer on women's suffage, women's rights, and the abolition of slavery.
Free in her thinking, she thought she'd stay free and single in life as well. She met a dude named Henry Blackwell, however, who was also anti-slavery and pro-women's rights and whose sister became the first female physician in the US. Their marriage ceremony renounced the marriage laws at the time and announced she would keep her name and keep her property in her name.
Shortly thereafter, she refuxed to pay property taxes. She protested the "taxation without representation" endured by women because they could not vote.
She and Henry actively supported the 14th Amendment giving the vote to black men. She supported this despite the fact that it would be the first time the Constitution mentioned "male citizens" specifically. Other women suffragists (including Susan B. Anthony of $1 coin fame) split with her on this matter and opposed the 14th Amendment.
She was progressive even in death: She was the first person in New England to be cremated.
White Trash Haiku
Eatin' from the can
Chef Boyardee-aroni
Naked 'bove the waist
Oh! El Camino
You were mine, but now you're gone
Damn you, repo man
Short like your schooling
Long like your prison sentence
Where's your wife beater
Faint fragrance rises
In the smoke-filled pool hall air
I need fresh boxers
Oh you hot mama
In your white jeans and teased hair
Come see Ratt with me
Take her to Wendy's
No shirt, no shoes, no service
Wait in the truck, smoke
Olympia beer
Comes in bottles? What next then?
Must I now wear shoes?
Dang! Your tube top is
making me want to forget
that you're my cousin
Chef Boyardee-aroni
Naked 'bove the waist
Oh! El Camino
You were mine, but now you're gone
Damn you, repo man
Short like your schooling
Long like your prison sentence
Where's your wife beater
Faint fragrance rises
In the smoke-filled pool hall air
I need fresh boxers
Oh you hot mama
In your white jeans and teased hair
Come see Ratt with me
Take her to Wendy's
No shirt, no shoes, no service
Wait in the truck, smoke
Olympia beer
Comes in bottles? What next then?
Must I now wear shoes?
Dang! Your tube top is
making me want to forget
that you're my cousin
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