Mom's Corner

Parents are the cutest!

Mom: it'll feel good to celebrate and extend your birthday with your lovely presence in a few weeks!! it'll also feel soooo good to give you a big huuuggg!! XOXO to my favorite daughter!

Linda: Is there any type of restaurant or food that you and dad want? Any preferred activities?

Mom: can we see the knife bowl katy got you? can't picture it. dad didn't get to golden gate park yet...can we get a good, long walk there? he'd like to see haight ashbury too, i think. sometime (doesn't have to be this trip) i'd like to walk across the g.g. bridge too. i like any kind of food!!! how about a mediterranean place? french is always good. maybe dad has more preferences. i suppose it would help you if we were more exact?

Dad: I did not say I would like to see haight ashbury. What have you been dropping or smoking? [Fn1]

[Fn1] My father would like everybody to understand that he was around in the 60's, okay?, and he was cool, man, and he understands that drugs can be both dropped (acid!) or smoked (the grass!).

Mom's Corner

"i placed my first ebay bid last night. i'm trying to find a wall tapestry to put on our toilet room's bare walls, and last night i found one that has a similar effect as the painting in our bathroom...trees, water, stone. i hope i get the bid since it was a great deal for a large tapestry. i'll know in three days. we also ordered frosted window film for our bathroom and the guest shower. i'm looking forward to the privacy and more lighting effect once we put that in.

ok...enough of my decorating news. you'll see these subtle changes in may!!

got to get to work now...maggie woke up with diarrhea last night and didn't make it outside in time. i've been working on cleaning and deoderizing that spot since 11:30 last night. uff da! she's so embarrassed too, poor thing. she feels all right today. that's good since she has graduation today at 4:45!! sit, maggie...not shit!!"

Mom's Corner

Hey everybody, my parents' dog writes emails now. You heard me. This is the most recent correspondence with her boyfriend Henry (my cousin's dog):

My Dear Rowdy Henry,

Thank you so much for your informative, entertaining and sweet letter! My, oh my, Henry, you are a talented writer! I even forwarded your letter to Linda, Melissa and Karl who also belong to my family but who live far away.

I would love to be called your "brown eyed girl" if I can call you my Rowdy Henry. Nobody has ever called me that before, and it sounds so tender. I like tender. But I'll tell you a secret, Henry. I love rowdy even more!! I got rowdy at dog park with a young bull mastiff and it was so fun. However, when we wrestled and he fell on my front paw, it kind of hurt for awhile. My Mommy and the owner were friends, and they knew the mastiff didn't mean to hurt me. Honestly, Henry, I think I was more scared than hurt...do you know what I mean? I felt fine in a few hours. The next day my Mommy took me back to the same park to see if I was afraid of it, but she found out I was still excited to play with other dogs. I'm very sorry to hear about your eyelid being bit! I surely hope you're all healed now! I promise when we play together next time that I won't bite you...I'd never bite my Rowdy Henry.

Your trip to Oregon sounded wonderful. I loved seeing the picture of you running in doggie heaven. Thank you for sending it to me. Your paws weren't even touching the ground! I can't wait to see a doggie heaven like that. So far, I think my only doggie heaven is fetching and swimming in the ocean. My paws don't touch the ground there either, ha ha. My Mommy and Daddy told me to tell you that they would love to see you and your family whenever you get down here. My Daddy has changed my backyard, however. He planted some new plants along the back fence, and then he put a wire around them so that I wouldn't run over them like I did the other plants. When I touched the wire with my nose, it gave me a teeny shock. I jumped and ran back to Daddy. He pet me and cuddled me and said "Good Girl Maggie." I don't run close to that wire anymore, but I still fetch and run in the yard.

See you soon!

Your Brown Eyed Girl, Maggie Lou

This moved from funny to uncomfortable right around "I like tender." My Dad's just as creepy. He sits on the couch with his arm around Maggie like she's his girlfriend. I fear Maggie will be sitting at the dinner table with us on Thanksgiving. Maybe a little napkin stuck in her collar or something, eyeing me with jealousy and/or contempt. It's not good.

And it's not just my parents! Jeff's mom sent him a card with paw prints (the dog's paws had been painted and pressed against the envelope). Recently Kristen and her parents were leaving for dinner, and her parents turned to the cat and said "Lucky, we'd take you if we could!" Kristen was like "Um, NO. There is no wishing you could take the cat to dinner."

Mom's Corner

Part I - Mom & Linda

Mom: 30 years ago this week your dad proposed to me while on vacation. A few days later driving on Minneapolis freeways, we heard on the radio that Elvis had died.

Linda: And then in most of the pictures from your honeymoon you are wearing a pink Elvis baby tee looking really grumpy (and sporting a perm).

Mom: I wasn't "grumpy" in the photos, I was just sad, it was a deceased Elvis t-shirt. How could I be grumpy on a honeymoon with a sweet brand new husband I barely knew??

[Eds Note: Linda's parents knew each other for 2 weeks in person, 2 months total, still married, still find Monster's Ball totally hot.]

Part II - Mom

I refrained from calling you to announce the thunderstorm we just had!!! I called Brother instead since I was SO EXCITED, but he didn't answer. At least it felt good to tell somebody about the rain!!! Maggie repeatedly ran outside to see the thunder and then watch the raindrops land on the chaise lounge chair or patio floor while her little ole head would bob from one side to the other...so doggone cute!!! Unfortunately, the rain in our area lasted a whopping 30 minutes and it was only light rain. Good enough to get excited about however :)

Love, your rain refreshed momma

Part III - Dad

When we fished in lakes in the Sierra, normally we would put the fish on a stringer, running it from one gill through their mouth. They would lay there alive in the cold water for a couple of hours and slowly die. If they weren't dead by the time we cleaned them, then that operation would do it quickly. Running a knife along their belly from their butt hole to their head and then ripping their guts out would usually finish them off. I always cut the heads off too, but many people leave them on when they cook and serve them. If you are going to catch and release fish (which is state law at many of the lakes and streams in the Sierra), then you should always use hooks without barbs so that the fish are not injured too badly.

Mom's Corner

"At this age her favorite toy is that ropey thingamajig she happens to be holding in the photo. She uses it as a pull toy or a throw toy or a running toy as it flops against her nose. She has begun to chew and loosen one of the rope knots, so yesterday there were many orange strings in her poop...very weird looking. Today she began her walk with me while carrying this toy too. She takes great pride in holding a toy or a bone or a golf ball while she prances along. About a mile into the walk, she may drop the item and when we return, we'll walk by it and she proceeds to carry it back home again. I've noticed Golden Retrievers doing this, so this activity must be coming from her Daddy's genes. Her dog Daddy would be proud because her human Daddy certainly is!"

Mom's Corner

bonjour;

were here and qre hqving q good time: the keyboqrd is different; so pleqse xcuse spelling:

we hqve been to notre dam; le louvre; walked miles and miles; boqting the seine tonight qnd wqtching firezorks from the eiffel tower too;

we qre stqying tzo blocks from the eiffel tozer:::it is bequtiful:

je tqime;

mom qnd dqd

Mom's Corner

"Maggie Lou just lost 10 pounds from her first haircut today! We keep looking and staring at her while adjusting to her new look. She didn't howl at herself in the mirror, so I guess the change hasn't affected her confidence any!"

Yikes. Does Maggie now look like: (a) a Dandie Dinmont Terrier; or (b) Falkor from The Neverending Story? Vote in comments.

Mom's Corner

"Here's a photo of the pheasant walking around our neighborhood. Two evenings ago it walked right along our fence on the fairway side. I couldn't get my camera in time before it left, however. Its back is even browner than this photo which makes the ring and colored head more impressive. Apparently it's safely roosting in the trees at night since the coyotes haven't caught it yet...amazing. It's fun hearing it all day long."

Mom's Corner

Happy Six Months, Maggie! Mom sent a great email today for Mom's Corner!

"well maggie lou has been initiated into the dog world with two dog confrontations last week. she survived and has renewed confidence around dogs ever since; it's something a puppy will have to experience eventually. at a dog park a 120 pound retriever/chow mix and two huskies roughed her up and held her down (bites didn't break the skin) until she finally squirmed away and jumped up with her teeth nashing at the 120 pounder...i thought she'd get her head bitten off right then and there before i could get to her. however, after that the dogs left her alone and the other owners praised her/petted her (along with me, of course) for her bravery. i took her back the next day to observe her for fear, anger or excitement, and she was excited and more confident. sunday, rosie (next door crazy barking dog), ran out from her garage and attacked maggie while we were walking on the sidewalk. she knocked maggie down and had her jaws on maggie's throat while growling. it was REALLY SCARY!! the owner and we were yelling at rosie but she didn't listen. dad kicked rosie in the chest which knocked her off maggie. the owner told him to kick her, so he did. all this time maggie is on a leash and rosie is loose. laurie (owner) felt terrible since maggie is only a puppy. it was a great opportunity to talk with laurie about her dog's incessant barking and nashing of teeth to maggie through the fence, etc., since laurie asked how rosie reacts to maggie and us. i mentioned a barking collar and a dog specialist, since rosie is a very smart dog. i was shaking from fear and laurie felt so badly, but we had a really good, honest conversation. she'll keep rosie inside during the week of brother's wedding to keep rosie quiet too. later that night laurie stopped by with wrapped dog treats for maggie and to show us the barking collar she just purchased. she was in tears worrying whether maggie was hurt. i hugged her and said things would be fine. she is now asking us to inform her how the barking collar is working; it's already making a difference. i love hearing rosie struggling to bark now!!! ok...enough of that..."

Mom's Corner

I asked Mom's permission to quote her on the blog. She said yes!

On dog grooming: "In the beginning we had Maggie groomed to acclimate her to the setting so she wouldn't be nervous or afraid. We frequently touched her eyes, tail, paws, nails and cleaned her ears and genitalia. Goldendoodles, like any long-haired dog, need hair trimmed around their genitalia to keep from infections (we're not comfortable doing that yet). Their ears need the wax to be wiped out, their nails clipped once in a while, and hair under the eyes can be trimmed when/if it grows up into the eyes. We haven't bathed her ourselves yet, but we will now that it's warmer and she can dry outside au naturale. We also wanted to find a groomer that left her with the scruffy look, so that we'd know how to do that ourselves. Puppies really don't have to be bathed often, so I use johnson & johnson's baby shampoo so her skin won't dry out. Maybe all of this SHOULD be in a blog!!! ...heck, ya, put me down for blogging :). "

Mom's Corner

I plan to start "Mom's Corner" because my mom writes a funny email, usually involving the family pets, and usually involving their ingestion (eating other animals) or digestion (poop or vomit). Those of you that know my mom know this shit will be goood. Today, however, I'm settling for this chain featuring the entire familia de Linda:

Mother: Right outside our t.v. room patio door is a tiny nest being made for the first time. It surprises me that the birds want a nest so close to the most active side of the house and the busiest door. You can see the bird's eyes reflecting in the [attached] photo inside the tiny nest. For the last two days birds fly over the backyard fence and directly into that small palm. I just noticed the nest this morning, however. I can't wait to see the eggs being laid and the babies hatch...if Gretyl [cat] permits that to happen...I found her eating a small bird on the outside mat just two days ago, before I realized what the birds were attempting to do. They're persistent parents, I guess. Anyway, I wanted to share the activity with my nature-loving family.

Brother: This story took a turn for the gruesome! Didn't expect that at all.

Linda: Gretyl has a taste for blood.

Dad: Gretyl is a connoisseur of rare delicacies, especially the endangered California Gnatcatcher.

Brother: After all this time, you're still resenting the little bird that singlehandedly caused the total collapse of the California real estate market, eh Dad?

Mom: Should I send a picture of the half-eaten gopher and a rat with its guts hanging out so you can feel sorry for them too? BTW: Research shows this innocent, tiny bird is a type of sparrow which hasn't affected real estate yet!

Dad: Like Gretyl, I love the little warblers. There's not much meat on them though. I like them deep fried in a tempura batter. The California Gnatcatcher tastes just like the Mexican Gnatcatcher; I can't discern any difference between the two species.