The Love Cab

I plopped into a cab tonight after a few blue-cheese-stuffed-olive martinis and it was lined with multi-colored small-bulb christmas lights that ran into the center and made a beautiful heart. Also, there were many silk roses with plastic dewdrops. The driver was (naturally) a man with a dark leather jacket and sideburns who played KOIT's "Love Songs after Dark" with zero irony and spoke with a Central American lisp a la Fez on That 70's Show. When I noted "Wow, it's very romantic in here," he proudly replied "Yes, the passengers love it, a gentleman liked my cab so much he gave a woman the diamond in the vehicle on Valentine's Day."

When I asked for a picture, he said "Get down on your knees so you can get it all." [FN1]

[FN1] If I had a nickel for every time...