The baby entries in the dream dictionary were kinda interesting and amusing. So many kinds of baby dreams apparently: regular babies; forgeting you had a baby; about to have a baby; crying babies; starving babies; extremely small babies; dead babies; dipping a baby in and out of water.
Hold on. Back up. Dead babies?!? This reminds me of a story.
After high school, my friend Gina went to the same college as a weird guy from our school. Let's call him "Holster." I remember him having a loud monotone voice and putting Vaseline on his face and staring at my legs in math class and allegedly putting a safety pin through the skin of his penis during water polo practice or something. I think his parents both worked in the sciences. The kid was born to be awkward.
Anyway. Gina somehow heard that Holster had been dubbed the "weird guy" in his dorms. Apparently one night, a bunch of co-eds were sitting around laughing and spinning yarns when Holster appeared in the doorway. He looked pale and shaken. They stopped their jovial conversation and asked him what was up.
Holster: You guys, I was just walking down by the beach, and I went into a cave, and inside of the cave.....I saw..... a dead cat.
Co-Eds: Oh damn. That's harsh Holster. Sorry man....
Holster: (Silence)
Co-Eds: (Resume laughter and fun)
Holster: You guys. You guys! I mean....... it was a dead..... baby.
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11 comments:
The "Holster," to my knowledge, never put a needle through his peni skin. Someone you used to pal around with did, however, put a safety pin through the skin of his scrotum. (paled around with not "Holster")
I love a good "Holster" story and this was a good one. Thanks!
PS staring at your legs was a time honored tradition of boys, sacred within the hallowed halls of G-Mont.
Whoops, haha. I always confuse Tron Tron with Holster. Indistinguishable.
Okay. This is Katie, your running buddy. So I have a 'dead baby story.' It's probably not all that great, but here it goes: I was 2.5 or so and I was with my mom in a shopping mall. A cousin of mine (a baby) had just died, and I was evidently obsessed with the death of babies. Anyway, a woman with a sleeping baby in a stroller approached my mother and me in the mall. I screamed, "Look Mom! A dead baby!!" My mother told me that no, it wasn't a dead baby, but I argued loudly that it was. The woman was mortified, so to speak, and moved on. My mother was upset and angry with me, but I believe she got over it. However, she still brings up the memory when it suits her.
Also, I should mention that I'm in rural England right now, drunk. Yes, it's a small town called Wells (where a friend of mine is from). In Somerset. Somewhat near Stonehenge. I'll be back in SF, ready to run soon. Promise!
I am wondering why is is that you use a psuedonymn and even bestow one upon "Holster" and yet my true identity is lain bare for all the world. Why is my privacy denied LINDA?
Actually, I was thrilled to make your blog. The story was mostly accurate but I heard it from my friend Matt (actually Gratthew Gay Mubler who is the scientist guy on Criminal Minds, which used to star Pandy Matinkin who was Inigo Montoya in the Pricncess Bride, a film from childhood which does hold up, unlike some candy like Twizzlers, gross) who was in film class with Holster.
Also, not to put to fine a point on it (pun intended), Andrew, I believe peni is the plurral of penis? So even if he punctured his nether region I think that peni implies multiple apendages. Yuck. One gun on the Holster is bad enough. By the way Linda, does this count as post high school cyber bullying? Aren't they passing laws against this and shit?
Wow, G-STAR has arrived in a big way. Kind of like Lil' Wayne conquering hip-hop, or something.
Linda, can "G-Star" be her psuedonymn please, pretty please?
G-Star, would you like your new name to be G-Star? It sounds porny to me. Your call.
Also, Katie: That is a great story. Tell more stories.
ACTUALLY, you should start your own blog. I would refresh it every hour. It could be my new PopSugar.
I don't mind G-Star. My established porn name is Foxy Tropico, so I wouldn't worry about any confusion.
G-Star you are a lady of discerning tastes and impeccable style!
G-Star, I am Tigger Pine.
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